As Emerson, Lake & Palmer once said, welcome back my friends to the show that never ends. Except that one time when it did and I got banned by our old blog. But not just banned; like uber fucking banned. By all of Vox Media. I can’t even comment on Eater.com. I mean, I have a lot of fucking things to say about anarcho-vegan dining trends in hipster cities. Pieces of shit. Fuck you Vox Media, and that adolescent, self-absorbed, narcissistic waste of human space running Mile High Hockey who doesn’t even like the Avs. I hope to fucking god he reads this. God knows he’ll never link another blog’s recaps to MHH.
Anyway. I’m back now with lots of really important socio-political topics to discuss tonight. No one can tell me what to do now!
So, the topic for today’s lecture is the influence of Etruscan theocracy on modern day democrac…wait…what? Nevermind, I guess. The Managing Editor says I need to talk about hockey. Ok, let’s recap tonight’s game and stuff.
Our beloved team had their home opener tonight against the Bruins and it’s only fitting because this is my first recap here. What a coincidence!!!
SPOILER ALERT: We won. By a lot. Here’s how it happened in a pure, 100% perfect, accurate, entirely non-alcohol induced, summary.
Game on let’s do this shit. (oh wait, this is supposed to be recap and not a live stream of consciousness) er… I mean, the game begun and the Avs did their shit?
Anyhoo, it began great. Avs won a face off and then another! This is more of a joke because somehow the Bruins killed the Avs last time.
Oh evidently the Avs got a power play. Let’s see how this goes. The Mack unit had good entry, actually, and good possession but when they fed Sven in the slot but his shot time was way too slow. The Duchene unit came up and, after good movement, the Avs thought they scored but no? No, yes!!! It was. Weird bounce. Refs reviewed anddddddddddddddddd no goal. Evidently not conclusive. Oh well. Bounces huh? Penalty over.
After a wonderful breakout back the Mack line, they had a great rush up the ice, a nice dish by Mack to Rants who missed wide, and Rask covered Mack’s rebound. Then a fight broke out for no reason at all.
TANGENT 1: I hate that game center doesn’t let me see the local Altitude commercials. I really liked learning about stupid fucking furniture stores around Denver I’ll never visit. I do miss the Subaru commercials though. I don’t miss hearing about whatever bait and switch Papa Johns is pulling though.
After a good push by the Bruins, the Duchene line broke out of the zone (and by that I mean Kerfoot decided to have balls the size of stretching medicine balls and break out himself) and had good possession into the zone. After a good, strong, blue line keep by the forwards, Barrie fired the puck from the blue line and the deflection went off Kerffot into the net. Congratulations, Alexander. You are one of the most poised college free agents I have ever seen. Maybe the most. Including over future Norris, Vezina, and Jack Adams winner Will Butcher. 1-0 Avs.
TANGENT 2: HEY ALEXANDER KERFOOT! You want a vote of confidence? I just told my Word to add “Kerfoot” as a word. There you go bro. That’s making it to “da big leagues” as the kids would say.
Haha then Z his Chara. That was fun. That was like two Amtrak truck full of uranium hitting each other. That’s a phrase right? Doesn’t matter.
TANGENT 3: Lauren Gardner is still extremely attractive.
The Bruins pushed back around the 12 minute-mark and got a few a good chances. End result was the Avs to the box. PP Bruins.
Bruins PP had excellent movement. They managed to get McAvoy open a lot, like a ton. Varly was up the task and the Avs had a some good blocks. Avs kill the PK.
After another great zone entry and a smart Gretzky curl by Duchene, the Avs drew a PP on a hold on Yakupov. Avs PP looked good with excellent movement. After the powerplay ended, the Avs pressured but an ill-advised pinch by Bigras sprung Marchand on a broken 2 on 2. After Barrie, correctly, directed Duchene to deal with the far guy, Barrie played the pass, but Marchand beat Varly far side. 1-1.
End of Period.
Super Important Comparison of the Night (First Period)
Unnecessary turnovers: 3
Drinks I’ve had: 4
Avs start the second period with Teri on Mack’s line. Change, injury, random. Doesn’t matter. Avs break on a 2 on 1, and Mack has a great backhand feed which Yak rips top shelf. 2-1 Avs.
The Avs started pushing the pace and had two great chances off Compher, then Andrighetto who almost tucked it in. Rask saved the day, it appears. For now…
TANGENT 4: Holy fuck Krug is good. What a great fucking pass to Vatrano. I know everyone knows it, but it needs to be said again.
About 7 minutes in the Bruins had a good entry, despite Z having multiple break ups at the line, but eventually drew a penalty.
The PP was mostly impressive because Sven and Mack had a 2 on 1 shorthanded break but Sven passed instead of shot. Bad Sven. Bad. Also, Bruins had nothing going. Like a dead squirrel with herpes in Tennessee. That’s a phrase, shut up.
Then Jost got hit with a dirty hit. Looks like Jost’s knee. Doesn’t look to me that bad, but we’ll see. I am not a doctor of medicine (I am a doctor of jurisprudence though!!?!?!?!). Avs get a PP.
Avs keep the zone the entire time and, after some great movement, they find Mack on the far side who freezes the defensemen and finds Sven in the front of the net who, instead of waiting this time, stops the puck and rips it above Rask’s arm. 3-1 Avs.
And Z was not happy with Jost hit. He immediately fought McQuaid after the faceoff because of the hit on Jost. I love Zadorov. That is honestly why I like fighting in the league. Self-policing, in my opinion. I also think Z lost a contact lens. Oh well.
After what was a Hail Mary pass by Boston, Boston hauled down Johnson and gave the Avs have a PP.
And holy shit. After the end of the power play (which was okay, not great, not bad, some okay chances, things to talk about, things to dislike, etc.), the Duchene line came out and got a great break out and zone entry. After a good forecheck by Kerfoot, Teri fed Duchene in the circle who ripped it a wrister high far side above Rask (it made that really cool piiiiiiiiiiiing noise when it hits the post and goes in. UNOWOTIMEAN?!?). 4-1 Avs.
And then Comeau stole the puck at center ice a few seconds after the faceoff and drew another penalty. Avs had a chance to bury the Bruins and likely get Rask pulled. The did not score.
TANGENT 5: My god can Teri shoot. I hope (and do think that) Bednar sees that.
Avs finished the period (with a brand new Jost!) very strongly. Unlike last year, they are not letting up with a lead. But, the third was coming…
End of Period.
Super Important Comparison of the Night (Second Period) (Cumulative)
Unnecessary turnovers: 5
Drinks I’ve had: 7
And Rask was pulled. Called it. I win. Gimme a fucking point SeaMill.
Avs started the third more conservative, but not turtling or living on weak clears as we’ve seen. They slowed it down with good possession and some dump and chasing and driving the play deep in the Bruins zone. What a world a change.
TANGENT 6: Evidently, according to Altitude, this recap is brought to you by Urology Associates (uadenver.com). Your second prostate opinion is free. Your first costs you a little bit more. As Urology Associates always say, “if you don’t shit, we quit.”
The Bruins started the period after the 5 minute mark with a slightly different break-out/neutral zone plan. They slowed their mid-d zone breakouts down and began to try more methodical breakouts looking to keep possession into the Avs the zone. The Avs used their speed to pressure them and break it down.
The Avs did a good job the next 5 minutes using a strong neutral zone forecheck to slow up the Bruins and really clogged up the game. Eventually the Bruins got a power play with about 10 minutes left.
FINAL TANGENT: There was an article on Athletic today about ranking the 2014 draft, which I didn’t read. However, I looked back and saw the we drafted Bleackley. Eeeks. Then I looked. After him, the only really good player, now, I think I saw was Pasternak. The rest, like Ho-Sang, are good, but haven’t performed in the NHL yet. Regardless, Bleackley is a huge fucking bust but relatively, there was not a whole lot else to choose from.
The Bruins powerplay was somewhat worthless, but the Bruins managed to score a rebound right after the PP ended. 4-2 Avs.
This was time to see if the Avs have really changed. Would they turtle?
Answer….we’ll see. The Avs took another penalty, so we are not sure let. Check back later.
And just like that the Bruin score again off a weird bounce of Varly’s pad which Krug knocks in. Another PP goal. Such is hockey but the Avs needed to rejuvenate themselves.
The following shift was a great rebound shift by Mack’s line and changed the flow of the ice back in the Avs’ direction.
After some good Avs defense on Bruins pressure, the Avs finally found a forecheck that ended with a good Jost turnover that caused a 3-on-1 but Wilson couldn’t bury the Jost pass. At the very least it shifted the ice.
1:43 left and the Bruins pull Khudobin. After a good clear that happened to hit off the Bruins and back the Avs who cleared directly to Sven who buried the empty net. 5-3 Avs.
Bruins pulled Khudobin again and Jost found the puck and buried another empty net. 6-3 Avs. Game over bitches.
Super Important Comparison of the Night (Third Period) (Cumulative)
Unnecessary turnovers: You’re an unnecessary turnover.
Drinks I’ve had: More than 9-ish. I’m done and the bottle of scotch is empty. Womp womp.
3) Compher – Maybe not on the scoreboard but he makes that third line terrifying. He had a few highlight reel shifts but he changed how good Landy and Jost were.
2) MacKinnon – Best player on the ice in my opinion but is showing some leadership when his line needs to change momentum. Again he kept the Pasternak line busy.
1) Yakupov – say what you will. Teri is great and has an elite. He seems rejuvenated. He makes the Duchene line scary because Teri can shoot from everywhere. I would say his shot is top 15 in the NHL. Plus, he has vision, for example, to find Duchene on the game winning goals.